Ghost Lion

I started working a new job this week and now there’s not enough time.  Even before I started this job, there wasn’t enough time.  Not enough time to write songs.  Not enough time to exercise, surf, or finish reading Chuck Klosterman’s book that’s somewhat about dead rockstars but not really.  Or read every article in Psychology Today — the only magazine I subscribe to.  Not enough time to take my dog out for a walk.  Not enough time to love someone else, help someone else.  But I realize the problem: a propulsion to do it all but no schedule to effectively accomplish it all.  So maybe there is enough time but not enough structure.

So I’m writing now to myself.  Because driving home from work today, caught in traffic, I starting thinking about how I could live life in a 9 to 5  (9:36 to 6:14 to be exact) environment in a way that made a difference, in a way that stood out, in a way that at my funeral, maybe someone will say something good about me that’s not bullshit.  So I came up with a solution: set a schedule for the week.  Hghhh. . . but it’s tough to even continue writing because of how rigid that sounds.  Well, I’m not promising anything yet, other than that I’m thinking.  And that I’m asking but not really asking to be kept accountable.  I guess I haven’t come to terms with a structured life yet.  But to get what I want, maybe I need to.

To be continued. . .

Bla[ke]

“We’ve been running a little behind schedule. But only by about 15 years or so.” – Matt Groening

Comic strip by Maggie Stiefvater 2008

Killing Yourself To Live by Chuck Klosterman